It seems like any time I've ever been rude to anyone or judged anyone harshly I always get it back - almost to the exact circumstance. Not necessarily from the person that I was unkind to (to their face or otherwise), I just have a learning experience. The only times that are still fresh in my memory relate to motherhood, though I've had this experience in several different circumstances.
- "I can't believe she used an epidural. I want to experience childbirth naturally." Yeah. I lasted 2 hours into the really bad contractions and was sobbingly begging for the epidural. On top of that, I've never experienced natural childbirth at all. Due to complications, Joseph was delivered C-section. Same story for Kathrynn, just so we were on the safe side.
- "I can't believe she doesn't breastfeed her baby. I'm going to nurse my babies for AT LEAST the first year. I want them to have the very best no matter what the sacrifice is on my part." Not if it's not physically possible for me to do so..
- "I'm never going to be one of those moms who ignores their kids when they call for them." You know what I'm talking about "Mom. Mommy. Moooooommmmmmm!!!!" Yeah. I'm there right now.
Joseph has officially entered the phase of yelling "Mom" constantly, mostly for non-urgent stuff. I really try to be patient with it and give him the attention he's seeking. After all, I don't want him to feel ignored. But, after a while, I start to lose it and just really really don't want to respond - I'd rather hide in my closet until he gets over the mom rampage. The mom phase started off reasonable. "Mom, you my milk." (Translation: Mom, will you get my milk for me."), "Mom, look at the bird." "Mom, where are my crayons?" etc. But, lately it's been getting a little ridiculous.
The other morning, a weekend morning, mind you Joseph woke up before everyone else in the house. He came in to get me with the usual "Wake up, Mommy." I promptly hooked him up with a Sesame Street tape and jumped in the shower, stressing to him that he needed to be as quiet as possible because everyone else was asleep. As soon as I turned the shower off he was at my door yelling, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" like someone was trying to saw off his arm. As soon as I got out of the bathroom I asked him to keep it down and what was wrong. His response: "Big Bird lost Radar. He can't find him." (Radar's Big Bird's teddy bear.) Ugh.
So, here are I am, Karma biting me in the bum for ever judging moms who ignore the incessant yells of "Mommy." Now I understand.
On the other end of the spectrum - I was a total punk in middle school. I was a great kid in high school, but middle school - I was just a punk. I remember one time (clear as day, actually) my mom telling me "I hope you have kids just like you." And, the smart alec I was, I responded "So do I, because they'll be perfect." What did I tell you? I was a punk.
Well, my mom got her wish. My little girl is just like me and set out to be total trouble. Oh sure, her spunk is totally cute, but there are parts of her personality that seriously frighten me when I think of the future - particularly the middle school years. Example: in church on Sunday, she repeatedly tapped Joseph on the head with her foot and it was obvious that she was doing it because she knew it would annoy him (luckily he's very patient when we're at church). I know she was doing it on purpose because I tried moving her away from him and she strained to keep tapping his head with her foot. SHE'S ONE! A one-year-old purposefully trying to annoy her brother - and that wasn't the first time. She totally got that from me. But, I don't think I did that kind of stuff that early.
She's also insanely sensitive - one of my major weaknesses. Not normal sensitive, but someone walks out of the room she's in and she starts crying sensitive. It doesn't even have to be someone she knows.
And, don't even get me started on how stubborn she is. Of course, we have the two most stubborn children in existence, but they also have two very stubborn parents, so there's no getting around that one.
She also loves to tease everyone! Anything to get a rise out of someone. When I come in to get her in the morning she stands at her crib, like she's ready for me to get her and then dashes to the far end of her crib just as I'm about to hold her. There's a lady in our ward who is enamoured by her and always wants to hold and she constantly acts like she'll go to her and then turn away really fast and hold on to me (and giggle).
But, on the other hand, she's extraordinarily strong. Not just physically (though, I inwardly call her the bionic baby), but she has an emotional strength that you can actually see in her, even for her age (that is, unless you walk out of the room). She has been through so much this year and has handled it with so much strength and adaptability. She's definitely a trooper. And that little girl loves with all of her heart. She's very outgoing and seems to be very sure of who she is already.
So, even though I was a total punk when my mom wished it upon me, and I have a lot of work in store for me (especially in about 10 years from now), I wouldn't trade my little girl for the world. And, maybe it's a blessing that she is so much like me. It'll help me relate to her better. :)
OK.. longest blog post ever.. :) Had a lot on my mind, I guess.